


Wonder

by lousywriter



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Green Arrow and the Canaries (TV)
Genre: DinahSiren Endgame, Endgame, F/F, Feelings, Happy, Longing, Love, Sad, dinahsiren - Freeform, wanting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24456778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lousywriter/pseuds/lousywriter
Summary: Can we have one more chance to relive those moments? And if time agrees, I would have kissed your lips the moment you touched my face and brushed off my hair and told me I was pretty.Maybe we could have lunch after that night. A night that I promised myself, I would never have. Maybe we could go to movies and sit at the end. Who knows in between the scenes, we could make out like teens.Can you ask me to get out of here again? Because maybe I would say yes and we could kiss.
Relationships: Dinah Drake/Earth-2 Laurel Lance
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	Wonder

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I don't know how we got here. All I know is I have these feelings in my heart trying to rip me apart. Here I am staring at how you laughed at our friends' lame-ass jokes and wondered if you ever laughed at mine the same.

We sat together on the middle couch surrounded by our friends because it's game night. And I stiffen as your leg brushed to mine, but soon relaxed as you pushed your back on the couch pulling me.

I still remember how I met you. How you made your move to my fresh off the boat ass and tried to be my friend and helped me.

"You're new here?" you asked, staring right into my eyes. That moment I felt my heart stopped because I don't know what magic you got, but you brushed the hair off my face and told me I was pretty.

"Thanks," I shyly responded and remembered that I almost drank half of my drink and returned your complement.

You're beautiful, too. The way your eyes shine in the dim light of the bar and the way your hair falls perfectly and this may be a lyric to a song, but you're just as impressive then as you are right now.

The girl you met at the bar wasn't the girl you are sitting with, right now. That girl was clueless, and she looked for her friends around asking for help, but all she's gotten were thumbs up.

My sister knew me very well, and I saw her laughed, not the kind of laugh that's mocking but the kind of laughter that says, "Laurel's an idiot, but I love her, and I'm here for her" sort of thing. Because that's how my sister is, well, I'm older, but she's more experienced in this kind of thing.

By the way her hands rested on her forehead and shook her head; I can confirm that I'm a disaster - a gay disaster, to be exact. And until now, I am.

You saw me looked around and asked if I got any friends over. Of course, I do. I pointed at them, and I still can't believe you waved at them and got their approving smiles. The truth is, I don't know what they approved. Do you think they approved of you for me, or do they approved that I have a friend and now have time to flirt with who I really want?

I guess they do approve of you. I think they're right but why haven't you?

"You have a lovely set of friends," you commented, and here we are, enjoying the night with them. It's been a year and a half, and they became your friends, too. I could say we have a lovely set of friends that soon became family, and you're a part of this family.

I looked at you today, and I can see how your smiles reached your eyes. How you enjoy every moment spent with them, with us, because back then you said you have no friends and you prefer to be alone.

I never wanted you to be alone, so I dragged your lonely ass to our table and invited you to join us even if I haven't asked for your name. 

"Dinah," you said, and it's like a song stuck in my head. I love the sound of your name, and I love hearing you introduced yourself to my friends who later became your friends, too.

The table became noisy, and after entertaining you and you entertaining them, everyone was exhausted and just sat there hoping to wash the alcohol away.

You asked me if I want to get out of the bar and go someplace with you. And I just want to rub the smirk written on your face, but at the same time, it's quite cute and infectious, and I found myself smiling but erased the idea of you and me leaving the bar.

Who knows what would happen, then? I'm new to this kind of thing, and if I disappear, Sara will kill me, worse, she wouldn't even notice I'm gone.

I know how this kind of thing goes, a kiss, a one night stand, and I promised myself that I would never have a one night stand.

What if I did, tho? Would you be here with us tonight, enjoying the calmness of my apartment? Would you and I be friends and exchange cute texts and messages during our work?

I mean, would we even meet again if I agreed to go with you that night? Would you be so close to me and relaxed while you play with my hair in this cozy set up we are in right now?

And that got me; maybe I should have gone with you and have our getaway. Perhaps we would kiss, and I won't have to long for your touch and your lips all this time.

Maybe then I wouldn't have fallen in love with you and try so hard to make you see it. But if you ask me right now if I want to get out of here, I would indeed accept and let you lead the way to wherever you like us to be.

"Laurel," you called, and I was out of my reverie that I forgot it was game night, and we're playing with our friends.

I took the cards to the charade, and I was only looking at you. Hoping you see what I wanted you to see, yearning for you to understand what my mouth cannot claim to speak, but my heart craves to feel.

The night ended with all of us exhausted with the game, drinks on the table, and everyone just finds their sleeping place in my living room.

I looked at you, and you haven't slept. Wide awake, staring at the glass walls, looking at the city lights. It's a quarter after one, time for all human beings to be vulnerable and cry their hearts out.

I felt your hands drawing circles on my knee, staying on the loop. I'm afraid to move because I might startle you and might cause to leave my side and lie on the other end of the couch.

I stared at you, and a small smile crept in to your face, telling me that you know I was staring and that you don't mind me staring at all. I cleared my throat and positioned myself so that I can see you clearly.

"Are you okay?" I asked, hoping that you would be true to what you say to me and honestly say what you feel.

Sometimes I wish I could take a look at your brain so that I can understand you when you don't want to talk. Maybe a peek would be great, seeing someone's soul never hurt anybody, right?

You looked at me so lovingly. I felt my breath catch into my throat; suddenly, I am unable to speak, unable to say what I wanted to say.

Your eyes shine like the stars in the night. And I felt lost, waiting for you to open up so I could focus on your lips when you speak and draw me out.

But who am I kidding? You would never talk to me or anyone. I could never break the barriers you have built.

"Do you ever love someone so much that it hurts?" you asked. I swallowed hard because that's how I feel about you.

Who was it? Who's the one who caught your heart? Who's the one who has broken down your walls and given the love you deserved?

"Why does it hurt?" I inquired, unable to answer the real question.

You looked at me and answered, not sure what your smile means, but I get the idea that it wasn't me, and maybe you were asking yourself if your best friend is jealous. 

Of course, I am jealous.

"Because she doesn't like me...like that."

"Who wouldn't?" And I slapped my mouth shut at the tone of my voice. I gathered myself and pushed away from the jealousy that I'm feeling.

You told me about this girl you met a long time ago. How she was so clueless and carefree and didn't know what it's like to be finally herself and love someone.

She's tall, blonde, quirky, and caring. She cares about everyone, especially her friends. She cared so much that between the friendly hugs you've given her, she didn't notice you have also given her your heart.

I tried to stay focus on the way you talk about her. I wished I was that someone you love. If she doesn't notice how great you are, how come you still love her and not me?

Maybe we got lost in translation. Perhaps I asked for too much. That's a song, but it fits as how I feel right now. I remember the day I confirmed to myself that I am in love with you.

There was this friendly shoot from Sara's friends, and we almost died wearing the boots they gave us. You had trouble removing yours, so you just lie there laughing, asking me to take them off.

I did without hesitation, and I felt the happiest, I wanted to hear your laugh again and the way you trusted me to take it off and the way you held my hand when I helped you stand up.

That was the moment I knew; I love to hear your voice every single minute of every day.

Can we have one more chance to relive those moments? And if time agrees, I would have kissed your lips the moment you touched my face and brushed off my hair and told me I was pretty.

Maybe we could have lunch after that night. A night that I promised myself, I would never have. Maybe we could go to movies and sit at the end. Who knows in between the scenes, we could make out like teens.

Can you ask me to get out of here again? Because maybe I would say yes and we could kiss.

Somebody already owns your heart; it can never be mine.

"Hey," I could ask you to go upstairs with me, and then I could say my feelings and this hurt wouldn't rip me apart.

Or I could shout it right in front of you, and maybe our friends would wake up and hear, but I don't care because I love you.

"What are we?" a question I suddenly want to regret coming out of my mouth. You looked hurt and pained, and I should be the one feeling that. The look on your face gave me hope that you feel the same way about me, too. 

This is it, Dinah, take me or leave me.

With your hesitation, I found my answer. I swallowed the lump that has formed in my throat and attempted to stop the tears that are slowly prickling my eyes. I laughed, a humorless one, I need to get out of here.

God, I hate feelings and pain; they all demand to be felt, and sometimes you just can't control it. I guess this is it.

I stood up and saw your face. Was it hurt I see, or was I just imagining things? Right now, I don't know. All I know is when you answer me if I love someone so much that it hurts, the answer will be you. It will always be you.

In between the walk upstairs, you caught my hand. You smiled at me, and I hate myself for feeling all the butterflies in my stomach rumble.

I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the way you smile, and suddenly all the anger I have was gone.

"Don't you wanna know the name of the woman I love? Will you just walk away, not hearing what I have to say?"

"I don't," I said and tried to get out of your soft grip and turned my back on you. If I'm not the one you love, I don't even wanna know her name.

"Are you really that blind?"

"What?" I countered, am I blind? Blind for what? Not seeing that you love someone else, and it's not me?

"Laurel Lance" and the way you said my name almost made me weak to my knees. I just wanna be grateful to these railings, "Feelings are hard for me, and you're really making it hard for me to say what I have to say"

I scoffed. Feelings are hard for me, too, and I don't know what's gotten into me, but I found myself kissing you and you pushing me upstairs, and here we are behind closed doors, gasping through the kiss. Holding each other tight, not wanting to let go.

Will you regret this tomorrow? Later? Are you regretting it now because I can get out and leave you here in my room? I could stay away from you forever, it that's what you like.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" you asked. The question that I've been waiting for a long time.

This time I know the answer and given the circumstance, I think I don't want to get out know.

I looked at you as you ran your hands through your hair, making you look so calm and cool and I just...it just makes me want you more. This time I know the answer.

"No"

"Okay," you agreed as you slowly led me to my bed and carefully undressed me. You were kissing every exposed skin of my body with care.

And I must really be blind to see that you love me but are you really that dumb not to see me swooning over you?

"Okay," I replied as you positioned on top of me, your eyes asking for permission, and then I gently cupped your face and kissed you passionately.

"You're the one woman that could mistake my feelings for friendly vibes."

"And you're the one woman that I will ever love for the rest of my life"

***


End file.
